Starting today, we will be trying out a new weekly feature answering questions about gender equality, relationships, sex, and any other concerns related to Tibetan Women’s Reality. Some of the questions will ones frequently raised in personal conversations or WeChat discussions, and hopefully some of them will be coming from you, the reader. Email questions to email@example.com and indicate if you okay with being identified in the post, using names will be purely optional.
Question: In Tibetan culture women are expected to be “shy,” meaning women usually resist attention from men even when they are interested in a relationship. Men feel like they have to be pushy with women in this environment, what is the difference between being persistent and harassment?
Answer: The most important thing is that no means no. Men have to stop whatever they’re doing at the point a woman says no. If a man is really interested in a woman he should show her respect and give her a chance to think about what she wants. Women feel more comfortable with a man if he shows respect and is honest. So many men are quick to say “I love you, I can’t live without you,” then move on a couple hours later; women don’t know who to trust. Showing respect builds the trust that leads to healthy relationships.