ཡུམ། Tibetan Women's Reality

Home » Uncategorized » As Advice for Tibetan Mothers Piles Up, Fathers are Left Out of the Discussion

As Advice for Tibetan Mothers Piles Up, Fathers are Left Out of the Discussion

Photo Credit: Kevin Shoenmakers

Photo Credit: Kevin Shoenmakers


The views in the link above seem pretty typical, mainly advising against marriage to non-Tibetans and highlighting the importance of Tibetan mothers. Yes, Tibetan mothers are important. There’s nothing wrong with pointing that out, but it does make me wonder, what about Tibetan fathers? Why is it that there is a lot of talk about Tibetan mothers need to do this, should be doing that, or are praised on the condition of acting a certain way, yet the same people are totally quiet about a father’s responsibilities.

Tibetan mothers, all mothers, already do a lot. Nine months of pregnancy is a long time to carry a little person kicking and squirming around, then pushing the baby out into the world isn’t so simple either. Believe me, men did the easy part. Once the baby is born, mothers still have a lot of work to do. And so do fathers. Caring for a child is a tough job that both parents need to be fully engaged in. We don’t need more rules for mothers, we need to stop ignoring the importance of dads.

Many Tibetan fathers do a great job, and should get credit for everything they do to raise healthy, happy kids. Instead of only focusing on mothers, and giving us advice we didn’t ask for, let’s try giving as much attention to encouraging good fathers. If mothers and fathers are working together to bring up their children well, there’s nothing to worry about, we can trust the children we raise with our future.


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